Same-Sex Relationship Advice

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Children, Families, and Other Important Topics That Come Before Relationships

When you are starting out a relationship there are things you will not be ready to discuss. However, the sooner you discuss these things the better off you will be. You can prevent a long, involved relationship that is just going to end in heartbreak when you realize your life long goals don't meet his with a discussion on life, love, and the future.

There are some things you need to ask your lover before your relationship progresses to a more serious level. If you see your life with him heading in one direction and he sees it heading in another it's best to find out now - before the relationship becomes so involved there is no other way to end it without breaking your heart.

There are some life expectations and goals that cannot be overlooked when you are looking for the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you do not mesh with him on your vision for your future it is best just to cut your losses while you can. Of course, this can be hard if you are compatible in every other way.

Families

One of the most important questions that need to be discussed, though this is often overlooked, is how your guy's family feels about the issue of homosexuality. Do they even know he is gay? If they don't and you're the poster child for the rainbow flag - well, then, you may have a problem! Questions will arise when they meet the new "roommate" (you!), and - not only will you have to endure painful questions such as "Do you have a girlfriend?" - you may also have to watch your love "play straight" as his mother and sisters set him up with the girl they just know he's just going to love.

While some gay males are okay with their lover being in the closet - especially if they have a high profile job or a particularly unsupportive family - the fact remains that he is in the closet and you are not, and this may cause a problem. If you are both in the closet, or both out, chances are you'll have less trouble handling the family situation. If you plan to come out of the closet in the future, but aren't out currently, then that should be discussed as well.

Children

What are your plans for the future? Have you dreamed of being a father someday? Do you want to just have pets instead, or are you happy just being with your partner alone? You need to make sure you know the answer to these questions before you become involved in a relationship that looks like it could turn into something more serious.

If you want to have children, and he doesn't, are you going to be okay down the road when you do not have children? Will you have regrets that you did not get a chance to be a parent? These are important questions because often times regrets turn into resentments! You may resent your partner for not allowing you to have the child you long for, and that resentment could turn into hatred. It's a difficult thing to stomach when you realize your goals don't mesh until it is too late. It's best to try and prevent that from happening before it does.

Poly Relationships

Is your partner looking for more then one lover? Are you okay with that if they are? Poly relationships may, or may not, be an issue for you and your guy. If they are, there are definitely some questions you need to ask one another before stepping into any relationship. Here is a list of some basic questions you may want to discuss.

Do you want a poly relationship?
Does he want a poly relationship?
Does he want you to be involved in the relationship, or will you have yours and he'll have his?
Are either of you jealous by nature?

Once you know the answers to these questions you'll have a better understanding of whether your relationship can exist with, or without, throwing a third party into the mix.

STD Status

This is a major issue that should be discussed prior to any sexual relations you have. While you may not mind if your lover is HIV positive, it is important you know so that you are certain to protect yourself in every way you can. If your lover has another sexually transmitted disease that can be contracted just by being near him, such as crabs or herpes, then you truly need to be aware of this! While some STD's can be treated, others cannot. You do not want to have to find out later that you are stuck with an STD that obviously could have been prevented.

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Awesome Links

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Man to Man: The Ultimate Guide to Gay Sex

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