If you're looking for an older child, or you have the funds necessary to adopt either in the United States or overseas, you may wish to go this route. You need to know the adoption laws for your state in terms of co-parenting, and second partner rights, before you choose any option. Your state may be incredibly strict, like Florida - which mainly allows gay couples to adopt children with AIDS, or other illnesses. The healthy children are reserved for the heterosexual couples. Of course, your state may be much more accommodating to the needs of two parent gay/lesbian adoption, such as California - which offers more protections than most other states do, and, not only for both parents, but also for the child, too.

If you plan to adopt internationally you need to know the laws of the country you plan to adopt from. Some countries do not allow any lesbian or gay couples to adopt. Others only allow one mother to be the designated parent. She is deemed single, though, so the second parent may only petition the court if the child is a full US citizen and your state allows for co-parenting.

Adoption can be costly in terms of lawyer's fees, international fees, and other fees that are accrued. The average adoption can run anywhere from $7000-$25000 dollars. So, another alternative is being a Foster Parent first. This way the pathway toward adoption is already established, and, based on your foster parenting skills, the adoption may go somewhat smoother than to try to adopt without any previous experience.

Adoption is a wonderful way to bring a child that is already in need into your home to receive the love, acceptance, and understanding that they may have been lacking elsewhere. However, the legal tape - especially for a lesbian couple - may be too much, and, to some, the hardships of attemting to adopt may be too trying to be a feasible plan for parenthood. However, adoption is a healthy alternative to the growing overpopulation problem that currently exists worldwide.

In vitro

In vitro is short for in vitro fertilization. Basically, the woman's eggs are removed (this can be either partner) and are mixed with sperm in a Petri dish. Then the fertilized eggs are implanted back into the woman that plans to carry the child and deliver the child. A nice option for lesbian couples is that the partner that does not wish to carry the child can donate the eggs, and the other partner can then become the 'surrogate' mother. So, technically, the child is the product of both mothers.

The cost for in vitro varies from state to state. Depending on your insurance, partial or all of the procedure may be covered. A ball park figure for the cost of the in vitro process is $9,000. The cost may seem high but here is a list of things that are usually covered within that $9000:

• Office visits
• Training for injections
• Estrogen
• Freezing of embryos for a certain amount of time
• Cost for transferring hospitals, if applicable
• Ultrasounds
• Visits to the physician

You may also have to pay anywhere from $1000-$4500 for medication that is necessary to the in vitro process. Most clinics recommend comparing prices at pharmacies. You may want to find the lowest price available now, while you can, rather than at the last minute.

In vitro can be expensive if insurance will not cover the costs. However, if you want to truly share parenting in a biological sense then this is definitely the way to go.

Of course, there is the consideration of sperm donation. This can cost little, to nothing, if you find your own donor - though often it is recommended you go through a sperm bank to ensure the sperm is free of all STD's and genetically traceable diseases. This may cost you anywhere from $1000-$7000, though each sperm bank differs in price.

You can have the sperm shipped so you can inseminate your partner yourself, or you can have the clinic do this for a fee.

No matter what option you choose, parenting is a major task. Joyfully, though, are the rewards you will gain when you see your beautiful child blossom and grow from the love of its two beautiful parents.

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