Same-Sex Relationship Advice

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Are You Ready for Gay Commitment?

Commitment is a topic that certainly has the ability to scare the hell out of some men. Depending on who you are, you may be wondering why anyone would want to commit in the first place. After all, there are so many men out there - and there is so little time! Why on earth would anyone want to commit to just one man? Of course, being in a homosexual relationship doesn't necessarily imply that you would have to be in a monogamous one. This is an issue that you and your partner would work through based on your own needs.

There are several ways to determine whether you are ready for a commitment. The most notable, of course, would be that you have realized you want to devote a large portion of your time to just one particular person, and want them to reciprocate with their time. However, there are many things to consider before jumping into a phase of commitment in your life... just because you think you want to be with someone does not necessarily mean that you're ready for commitment.

I know plenty of men out there that claim they are ready for commitment. They are nice guys, every one of them. However, they all say the same things:

"If only I could meet that special guy"
"I'd sure make a great house husband"
"I have so much love to give and no one to give it to"

As funny as it sounds these men are more desperate for any love than they are commitment. If you are thinking you want to be in a relationship so bad that you will reason away any man's obviously large faults, then you need to take a huge step back and avoid relationships - because you just aren't ready.

Relationships are much more than holding hands and kissing on the street. They take work - and in most cases it is far more work than most people can imagine. You are much better off starting out slow and working your way towards a commitment, rather than try and jump into a committed relationship from the get-go. Unfortunately, those who are looking to jump in without hesitation usually end up in the shallow end of a pool with a concussion.

You need to work out the terms of your relationship by using honesty and respect. The beginning of any relationship is the time when you position yourself and your needs so your partner knows what you need to have a successful relationship. But it's not just about you! You also want to have your partner let you know what he, too, needs to be happy and content. By establishing things you both need out of the relationship in the beginning - even if they aren't immediate needs - you can avoid a lot of pitfalls down the road. As an example, what if you really want kids some day, and your partner is adamantly against raising a family? This could be a huge issue if left undealt with in the beginning of the relationship. It's better to make a decision whether to continue with a relationship before it gets too committed… far, far better then dealing with major issues down the road - when many years and emotions have been invested. If your differences are considerable it may mean that commitment is not a possibility! That is why it is important to establish these needs, wants, and desires in the beginning of a relationship, as opposed to the point where you have been with someone for a considerable amount of time.

When you meet the right guy, and want to make a lasting commitment with him, you'll just know it… there won't be any specific 'sign' or 'signal' that will tell you he's the 'one'. There'll be no thunder from the sky, no arrows shooting by from Cupid bow. You'll just know it - "this is the guy I want to spend my life with!" And it won't be about you finding just any relationship to fill a void in your life - it will be about having a commitment with that one special guy that makes you feel like you've finally come home.

However, you may not feel like a commitment is necessary, or you may just not be ready to 'settle' for any one man, and if that is the case then you can definitely enjoy the wide array of homosexual men out there that agree with these sentiments exactly. Commitment will only work if both parties want it to. In other words, one-sided commitments do not a relationship make! It doesn't matter if you make a commitment to him, or if he makes one to you - if you both aren't equally committed to each other, and to the relationship itself, it will never work.

The best advice is to wait for commitment - when you say to yourself, "I want to be with this man, and this man only!" Do not rush into a commitment, otherwise someone stands to get hurt. Just relax; have fun; enjoy yourself and enjoy your partner; get to know each other; and see what happens from there. Then - if the time comes that you do decide to commit to one another - you will have a much better chance of enjoying a happy, healthy future together.

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