Be pre-prepared , if you can: if you are sure about what you are saying before hand, then you aren't going to fumble over your words, or just blurt something out that comes out in an offensive way. Being prepared also prevents tension on your part. And if you are nervous you might just end up 'speaking before thinking' and that could backfire on you. However, using these assertive 'techniques' can save your date, and make things continue to go smoothly in your relationship.

Respect Yourself - and He Will, Too!
Being assertive is your first step in telling him 'no' in a way that isn't going to offend him. In fact, when you respect yourself enough to say 'no', you also gain his respect, too! if you have little or no respect for yourself, how can you expect anybody else to be impressed with you, either?

Be Honest
If you really want to get your new guy's attention do not hold anything back. If he finds out you're doing things you don't like - just because he does - it could come off as more pathetic and 'whimpy', rather than thoughtful or appealing. Most men aren't looking for doormats, so don't attempt to give them one.

If you put certain men in certain situations they are able to be assertive without question. If you ask a power bottom to top he is going to tell you no. It holds no excitement for him, and he doesn't want to do it, so that's all there is to say. You just need to consider the feelings, likes, and dislikes of all involved. A simple "I don't want too" or "I don't feel comfortable doing that" should be enough to suffice and to help you move right along with the date.

Don't Apologize
Practice being assertive without apologizing for your choices, likes, or dislikes. When you are practicing your new assertiveness you can try this method just about anywhere. If you able to say no, but have to apologize throughout the process then you need to work on that behavior. Nobody wants to do something that they think may hurt other people, but you shouldn't have to compromise yourself, either. If someone really cared about you, or others, they wouldn't put you (or them) in such an uncomfortable position to begin with! Start practicing your new assertiveness by returning something back to a store, or giving back an order at a restaurant that you are unhappy with. Do not offer any explanation as to why you are unhappy with the item by apologizing. A simple, "I would like to return this, please" should work. If they ask additional questions you may answer them, but do not apologize. YOU have nothing to apologize for! If anything, you are the one that should be apologized to. If at a restaurant explain that your order was wrong, and ask that it be remade to your specifications - but you should definitely not have to apologize for this situation. After all, as long as you ordered things correctly to begin with then you were not at fault, they were.

You have to be able to explain your needs before you can communicate them to another person. If you are not able to do this then you may end up in situations that you come to regret later. You should always consider the bigger picture before you jump into anything with anyone. Think of it like this, if you say no to what your partner (or friend) wants, and they get upset or stop speaking to you, then it's obvious they never were concerned with your thoughts or feelings to begin with.

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